Ya Shafi: Ramadan Reflections
A couple days into Ramadan. Here are some of my reflections.
I do not know all of the 99 names of Allah. I hope to get to know each name on a deeper level and have them all in my arsenal. I have a deck of cards with each 99 names that I like to pull at random. The meaning tends to be exactly what I need at that moment. I then meditate on the name, use it in my dhikr and duas. A few months ago, I felt like I needed healing. I made an “informal dua” in my head with little form, but all heart. I was going to pull a card, but thought, I don’t want to go looking through every card to find the name that corresponds to healing. At that moment, I saw the word “Shafi” appear in my head, like my calls were being answered. I didn’t know this name. I thought, I wonder what it means. Maybe it is the name of an Imam or scholar, maybe it is one of the 99 names of Allah, maybe it is about healing, though I doubt it. I was curious as to what this word that just appeared to me was, so I googled it, and Subhanallah, it is “the healer”.
How is this possible? Maybe I already knew this name but had forgotten. Maybe. Maybe I had heard it before. It’s plausible. But in the moment, I did not know what it was or meant, only that I saw the word in my mind after asking for a healing name. I took it as a sign that I needed to recite Ya Shafi and use it in my duas.
It gets even crazier. The next day, I decided that I would go looking for the Al Shafi card in my deck, to see what meaning and explanation they decided to give and where they placed it (was it name 67, 25,…?) but I couldn’t find it. I kept looking.
Finally, the last card titled “More Than 99 Names of Allah” read as follows: “Other Divine Names that can be identified as Names of Allah in the Qur’an appear in our text, Physicians of the Heart. These are found at the end of Chapter 5, “99 Names of Allah Discussed in Brief Summaries.” The authors list them with phonetic pronunciations and very brief summaries including the names below. Ya Shafi, Ya Kafi. Ya Shafi is the healer. Ya Kafi is the sufficient remedy for healing. These names are frequently paired to invoke God’s divine healing to address any illness or disease.”
That’s it. Ya Shafi wasn’t one of the 99 name cards. It didn’t even have its own card or description. It was a brief mention at the very end of the last card. I would not have found it had I gone looking for a “healing name” the day before. I was taken aback. Was Allah (SWT) inviting me towards Him, opening the door that I had asked for? It was like the name was placed right in my lap without me even having to search for it.
I will never forget the name Ya Shafi. It is forever engraved in my mind and is one of the 99 names that I feel closest to. It is an example of Allah’s mercy. All healing is made possible by Al Shafi. He opens the doors for us, but it is up to us to chose to walk through them. “Tie your camel” as the hadith goes.
I hope that this Ramadan brings healing to everyone. Healing isn’t the erasure of the past, it is the alchemizing of pain into something beautiful. It is the restoration of health. It is the peace that covers the heart. It is the purifying light that removes darkness.
I took the decision not to fast last year due to my health. It was difficult, but I knew that fasting was not a good idea, and that it would only worsen my condition. I knew that Ar-Rahman does not want to burden us. I still “participated” by practicing mindfulness if it be with what I ate, prayer, my readings, learning, and slowing down. This year, Alhamdulillah, I am in better health.
This month is a month that covers us with mercy. It is a month of taqwa, of elevation, of slowing down, of gratitude and rememberance. It is a month of improvement. It is a reset. It is the perfect time to break bad habits and implement better ones. The goodness and mercy given to us in Ramadan is supposed to carry through in the following months. We are not supposed to treat Ramadan as a month of piety just to return straight to our bad habits once it is done. We strip ourselves of our base nafs to uncover our hungry animalistic selves.
A drug addict goes through a period of detox, often accompanied by symptoms of withdrawal. Ramadan is a detox. It lays our sins in front of us, making us more aware of what needs changing. It takes time to change, but once the dirt is wiped away, it is easier to see what needs cleaning or rebuilding. We ask for sincere forgiveness and mercy. And we hope not to fall into a relapse. Though if we do, we should continue to turn back and strive to achieve a higher stage of nafs, detached from worldly indulgences, impulses and pain.
I offer some reflections and journal prompts for you all to do with me:
How has Al Shafi manifested in my life, physically, mentally, or spiritually?
What limiting beliefs do I hold about myself and my conditions?
What habits do I want to work on this Ramadan and leave with?
When have I chosen this world over the next and what steps can I take to realign my priorities and actions?
Pick a 99 name of Allah and reflect on its meaning. How can I call upon this 99 name and in which ways does it manifest in my life?
Which diseases of the heart do I need to work on?
What is one bad habit I want to leave, and what is one habit I would replace it with?
PS: This is the closest to a face reveal Substack is getting. Proof that I am a human.
- Lili A
Such a beautiful reflection Lili. Barakallahu Feeki!
I think you’ll love Sh. Mikaeel’s halaqas on the names of Allah. He goes into details of each name of Allah every week. Check it out!
One of the names of Allah that I began to appreciate from his Halaqa is almuqaddim and almukkhir. Which means the one who brings things forth and the one who delays things. It was a reminder of how everything in life is timed perfectly.
Also if you haven’t seen Sh. Omar’s Ramadan series it’s about the names of Allah as well. It’s called the name I need. When I saw the series trailer I was like Subhanallah, Ive been feeling pulled to connect with Allah’s names recently and even the series helps with that.
Which reminds I haven’t watched the new episode. Let me go watch it!